


Torn

by girl_next_door_writes



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-16
Updated: 2018-12-16
Packaged: 2019-09-20 09:48:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,276
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17020377
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/girl_next_door_writes/pseuds/girl_next_door_writes
Summary: Set in the days after Civil War you had stood by what you believed but you know that your friend is suffering.  Can you just walk away from Tony knowing how much he will be beating himself up?





	Torn

Lying in your bed you stared up at the unfamiliar ceiling you catalog every crack and imperfection in the paintwork. The sound of the clock ticking and the pounding of your heat the only audible sounds to your ears. You were still unsure how you had got here, how any of the events of the past few weeks had happened. Thoughts ran in circles in your mind only adding to the confusion which was sadly becoming a familiar feeling. 

There were moments, memories, that replayed in your head at the strangest opportunities. All of you sat around in the kitchen laughing as Steve attempted to cook, a very drunken game of charades that had Tony jumping on the sofa until he broke it, laying on the warm grass and watching the clouds float by after one of Sams made up games where nobody understood the rules. How quickly that had all changed. It felt like another lifetime, memories that belonged to someone else.

Sitting up and pressing your back into the aging headboard you closed your eyes and sighed. Those damned accords. Then again maybe the divide had begun before that. Surely just one decision couldn’t have caused your team, your family, to implode? Looking back perhaps there had been a natural shift, Steve and Tony often on separate sides when it came to team games. You and Nat had always floated between the pair but the more you thought about it the more obvious it was when it came to whose side people would take. 

You missed him. You missed all of them but you found your thoughts wandering to him more often than anyone else. You two had never really got your timing right. There was a time… a friendly hike through the woods and you had been towards the front of the pack, bounding along with Steve when you heard him calling your name. Turning round you could see he was trying to tell you something but you were walking too far ahead. Slowing down you found yourself beside him, your footfalls in sync. It turned out he was just making some smart ass comment about your navigational skills but you ended up deep in conversation, falling behind the others and for a second…

These memories were somehow tainted by recent events. The look in his eye when he saw you in that cell haunted every good remembrance you had of him leaving them faded and in shades of grey. Looking through your window you wondered if he was okay. You knew him far too well to assume he had just brushed all this off. Deep down you knew he would be blaming himself for all of this and he wouldn’t be talking to anyone about it. His stubborn ass was probably building yet another suit and avoiding sleep. That didn’t sit well with you. Taking out your phone you composed a text message, re-read it about fifty times and then pressed send. Climbing off your bed you grabbed your clothes and got dressed. This was just something you had to do.

It was quiet. Rooms and corridors that had once been filled with laughter and arguments felt abandoned, haunted by the memories of those who used to call this place home. Your feet found their way to the door automatically, treading the familiar path with just a hint of trepidation. Your last encounter still fresh in your mind. Pausing at the door you could hear him padding around, music pounding and the corners of your mouth twitched up into a sad smile. Taking a deep breath, you opened the door.

Tony whirled round at the movement and froze. His skin was sallow and grey, dark circles lined his eyes and his fingers twitched involuntarily. He looked so much older and yet younger at the same time. Blinking rapidly he struggled to find something witty to say and so he simply settled for your name, whispering it hoarsely. Slowly, agonizingly so in Tony’s opinion, you crossed the space between you, stopping a few inches from him to take in his full appearance. It was clear he hadn’t been eating or bathing anytime lately and your heart broke for him. Closing the gap you pulled him into your arms, holding him tightly, trying desperately to convey all the things you had never had words for. The sudden contact caught him by surprise. He had expected a slap maybe, some angry accusations, and yet here you were offering comfort and forgiveness. Tears ran down his cheeks as he buried his face into the crook of your neck and held you close. 

The pair of you stayed in that embrace for what felt like an eternity. Eventually, you pulled back a little and cupped his face in your hands, brushing away his tears with your thumbs. He looked so lost and you just wanted to tell him that he had you, that you had found him and he wasn’t alone. Your eyes searched his, the deep brown reminded you of swirling hot chocolate and you smiled at him. “I will always come back to you, Tony. No matter what, time after time I will be here for you.” The soft tone of your voice soothed something deep in his soul that he had begun to believe was beyond repair. Ever since Pepper had left you had been his anchor, he had unconsciously sort your company and when all this had happened losing you on top of everyone else had broken him in ways he hadn’t expected. “Let’s get you a shower, a change of clothes and some food.” He nodded in response, still having trouble forming words. 

Wandering into the lounge as he towel dried his hair the scent of a homecooked meal hit him and his stomach rumbled, more than ready for some actual food. You emerged with two plates and placed them on the coffee table then patted the sofa encouraging him to join you. “There’s my Tony.” You joked, looking him up and down in an overexaggerated manner that had a smirk pulling at his lips. 

The empty plates long since discarded you were now laying on the sofa, the movie pretty much over, the reassuring weight of Tony pressed against you. He had succumbed to sleep as he rested in your arms and you ran your fingers through his hair. There was a long way to go but you knew you were exactly where you needed to be, where you wanted to be. Placing a gentle kiss to his forehead you rested back against the cushions and finally let the elusive sleep claim you.

Waking with a start it took Tony a few panicked moments to register where he was. The title screen of the dvd you had been watching repeated on a loop and he reached for the remote to turn it off plunging the room into darkness. His eyes adjusted and he looked over at your sleeping form. You looked so peaceful and he felt his heart tighten. Brushing the hair from your face he leaned over and pressed a light kiss to your forehead. Standing up he slid his arms under you and lifted you, bringing you close to his chest. As he made his way to his bedroom, where he knew you would be more comfortable, his breath caught as your arms came up around his neck and you let out a sleepy yawn. Your head lolled against his shoulder and he felt butterflies in his stomach. He had missed you so much and he was so glad you were home, he just hoped that you would stay.


End file.
